2013. Not my best year.

Oh, 2013.

What. A. Year.

I wish I could write an uplifting post about personal growth. About how much I’ve learnt about myself this year, got in touch with my inner self, matured, changed. In all honesty though, I haven’t much.

I spent the first sixth months of this year firmly in denial. I knew what I had to do by March, but I resolutely didn’t  do anything about it until June. It’s a painful, horrible thing to think that you are going to spend to rest of your life with someone only to work out that it would, in fact, be an incredible mistake if you did.

I have let myself be frozen by anixiety and fear. It’s no surprise to many of you that I failed 3 subjects and barely passed another 3. I have relied on old addictive behaviours instead of healthy coping stratergies. I have shut people out and held myself in.

Really, this year there is not much that I am proud of.

I hope next year will be better. I hope I put more effort into life. I have lived too long behind the veil of illness and insecurity (sometimes, with legitmate cause but often without).

For a month and a half recently, I was reguarly chatting to guy. A good, funny, kind, intelligant Christian man. He helped me see myself in a new, or rather, old light. Once upon a time, I was fearless and fun and full of life. I miss being that person. I know I can’t ever be exactly her again, but I want to try to regain some of the important parts of life. He has inspired me to be passionate again.

I have three friends who have been struggling in various stages of recovery from eating disorders this year. They want to get better and Iam inspired by their zest for life.

My sister is building  a house. My mum is standing up for herself. My dad is enjoying life again.

Next year, I hope to be proud of myself.

Thankful Thursday #7: Bible Teaching

So I’m hoping this is something that all of you already know: I am a Christian!
I go to an Anglican Church in Western Sydney (where I also attend bible study) and I’m a regular at public Christian Union meetings at my university. My faith plays is the basis of my life – God, by his Holy Spirit and through the Bible, helps me to understand the best choices for my life. The thing is, the bible can be kind of complicated to understand. It was written in different languages long ago, and there are some words and phrases that we can’t translate very well into English. There are topics and concepts and values that seem strange (or confronting) to a young woman in the 21st Century western world. All these things make me very thankful that I have access to great quality bible teaching!  Continue reading

Thankful Thursday #4: Mental Healthcare

Firstly, I realise that I’m a day late with thankful thursday this week.
I’ve been sick, and uni is in full swing and…I forgot. Oops!

This weeks topic is close to my heart, and it’s also something that matters to a lot of people I know: Mental Healthcare. One of my favourite blogging sites, Kiki & Tea, regularly publishes articles that relate to mental health and mental illness. In fact, this week they published two pieces, which you can find here and here, that deal with the two different sides of the same coin.

So why mental healthcare?
I’m glad you asked the question! Continue reading

Thankful Thursday #3: University

So if you’ve read this blog before, or you know me, you’ll be aware that I go to uni. In fact, I am studying Education at Macquarie University in Sydney, Australia. You’ll also be aware that I spend a lot of time deep in angst over disorganisation, too many assignments, readings coming out of my ears and other students that I can’t stand. The thing is, I’m actually really lucky to be able to study, and let me tell you some reasons why. Continue reading

Things I Have Learnt This Semester

With exams over, I feel like it’s time to reflect on things I have learnt this semester:

  1. The grammar of the English language is HARD. When studying it, try and keep up to date with readings.
  2. Learning *how* to use play as a learning tool with young children is much less fun than actually playing with young children.
  3. Sociology will always and forever remain my favourite subject area…and statistics are not boring. Continue reading