“I’m not a girl,
There is no need to protect me.
It’s time that I
Learn to face up to this on my own.
I’ve seen so much more than you know now,
So don’t tell me to shut my eyes.”
I have this problem, and I’m sure it’s not unique to me.
You see, I’m a twenty-something uni student still living at home with my parents. The cook for me and wash my clothes (we share the cleaning of the house). This arrangement suits me fine most of the time…until we get into arguments over opinion / cleaning / my ‘space’ / what I’m allowed to do / what I should be doing. In a month, there is usually only a few days where I’m not actively fighting (or in post fight wilderness) with at least one parent.They also seem to have a need to make a suggestion about every area of my life, and often come into my room without even knocking. On top of everything uni / mental health / fiancé related, my home life gets to be utterly exhausting.
There is a ‘solution’, I know: Why don’t I just move out?
Well…it’s not actually a solution in my case. With no job, and a degree that demands from here in at least three unpaid prac weeks from me a semester, I have no money and no ability to earn any. I could go onto youth allowance (around $200/ fortnight if living away from home is not necessitated to go to uni) or newstart (more reasonable at over $400/fortnight, but with the added problems of needing to apply for TEN jobs / fortnight) . Neither of these amounts would even cover my living expenses in the Sydney private rental, even if I managed to find a flatmate that could deal with my neuroses…
So considering that my only real option, currently, is staying at home with my parents…What do I do?
How do I show them that I am, in fact, an adult?
How do I cope with their inflammatory remarks and encroachment on my space?
Basically…how do I tell them what my boundaries are, without isolating them? (or making them feel I’m ungrateful?)
Please leave your advice / suggestions below (even if it’s just along the lines of ‘suck it up, princess!’)