Last week was spent mostly wallowing in self-pity about how much my situation sucks, and how there was like…nothing I could do about it. Really, brain? That’s what you’re going with right now? So, this week I’ve kind of set myself a few challenges. The first & foremost of these is to do something recovery related each day.
Today, I read Dr Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages.
At first glance, you’re probably thinking either a) what is that about? or if you know what it’s about b) how is that recovery related?
Well, The Five Love Languages is about five ways people express and feel love! These five primary ways are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts Of Service and Physical Touch. Each and every person has a “primary love language” – that is, the way in which they best feel that they are loved. Some people are bilingual – two ways, that above all others, make them best feel loved (I’m one of those lucky people!). The idea of the book is to try to help you work out your own love language and that of your spouse / partner so you can best love and be loved. There are also books for singles, children and teenagers. It’s a really cool, useful concept!
“That’s great”, I hear you say, “but what on earth does it have to with recovery?” Well, I’m glad you asked, because it has heaps to do with recovery! When we’re stuck in our addictions / disorders / mental illness, we become self-absorbed people. Oh, sure, we may look like we’re involved with other people, we may look like we’re even having great relationships, but at the heart of reality we’re not at all. This book makes you look outside yourself. It makes you think about your relationships (primarily romantic in this version) and how you can help them to flourish. And good, healthy relationships are one of the most important keys to recovery!
So, there you have it. I really recommend this book (or the other versions if this one doesn’t particularly suit your current situation). It’s has real life applications. It has tips. It’s very easy reading! You’ll laugh, you’ll cry…and you’ll be better off for reading it!